Every Mother finds herself doing what she needs to do to get the day rolling and keep it rolling. I would suppose that one of my down falls as a mother was my habit of fibbing or making up little white lies to get the kids to do what I wanted them to do. If I had to serve them something yucky looking for dinner – say – refried beans, then these became “chocolaty beans”. When it was time to give up the binkies I said that Tinker Bell had taken them. I found that getting the kids to believe what I wanted them to believe was a satisfactory way of getting them to conform – so to speak. Fortunately I primarily used this lame tactic to combat temper tantrums or food dislikes and I could only get away with this ridiculous type of reasoning when they were very young.
My Nina was known all through out the land as having the worst temper. There were friends that simply would not baby sit for her. They would ask, “Are you sure you called everyone else before me?” She was small but mighty – and smart! To get Nina to mind and behave was when I came up with these little white lies.
One day while driving in the car Nina was having a particularly wild melt down, the type of melt down that can make you crazy and seriously cause an accident. In order to get her to hush I told her that I would have to press the EJECTOR SEAT BUTTON if she did not stop her fit this minute. The ejector seat button was in fact the hazard light button. I thought what a great idea, it is the shape of a triangle – facing up and away and it certainly looked foreboding and as though it could do the job, if put to the test. It worked!!!!!! She stopped her crying and hollering instantly. I felt that I had come up with a perfect solution and I used that tactic from then on – probably about 4 times in the following two years. So from three years old to about five years old Nina must have held a fearful respect for the ejector seat button. Nina’s brother Bijan was fully aware that I was fibbing to Nina but being the peaceful soul that he was he seemed content to not make waves – all is fair in love and war and the taming of Nina’s temper.
About the time that Nina was five and Bijan was eight we were driving around town busily running errands and all seemed fine until we got a flat tire. I was grateful that I managed to keep control of the car and pull over to the side of the road. Everyone safe – now to deal with the changing of the tire, my first step was to reach for the hazard light button as I wanted to notify other drivers that I was certainly having a hazardous day. Bijan yelled, “No Mother – you can’t press that – STOP!” I looked at Bijan and he was eyeing me to turn around and look at Nina. When I turned to the back seat I saw Nina braced in her booster seat – her eyes were clenched shut tight and her face was scrunched small. Her body was stiff and she was waiting to be ejected right through the top of the family mini van, off high into the sky and perhaps coming down in some distant field of little white and yellow daisies.
Oh my god, my little white lies had caught up with me in the most horrific way imaginable. How could this child ever trust a single word I would say to her again? The flat tire was the least of my problems. I stopped telling white lies of any kind after that but Nina’s temper seemed to get the best of us for another five years. I am happy to report that she is now the sweetest young woman that you will ever meet and we have to search our memories for times like this to even imagine how she was.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY...
